I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
