I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
