So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
