Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
