I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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