Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Boobs speak an international language.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
