It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
