i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
