i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
