i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
