it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize