I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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