She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
