I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
All I want is dick and wine.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize