whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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