it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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