ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
