He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
