I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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