That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
