I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
