there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
