That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
