about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
