just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
