Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
