beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize