He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
