I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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