you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
