Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
