BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize