"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
