? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Blood and glitter go together right?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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