yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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