All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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