is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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