last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
