Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
