Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize