Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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