Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
