Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
