dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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