If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
