the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
