This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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