I look better un-naked...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
