I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
