well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
