so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
