Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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