"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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