He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i think i just lost a toe
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
