What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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