you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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