well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize