I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
