Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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