How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
