He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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