I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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