i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
