I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Nicole vs. Life
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
