it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
