Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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