I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
from now on my penis is your penis
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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